May 16
Breakdowns lead to Breakthroughs
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I recently returned from a life changing spiritual transformation experience in Sedona where I attended a Divine Feminine and Shamanic Retreat with bestselling author of, Warrior Goddess Training, Healer, and Shaman, Heatherash Amara. Still integrating what I experienced and working on finding the words to describe that sacred and magical week. The shifts in consciousness and the profound impact on my mind, body, and spirit are still rippling through me with moments of pure joy, awe, and awakening – creating transformation through breakthroughs and breakdowns.
Sharing an excerpt from one of my many journal entries during the experience:
“I dove deep into the well, unraveled the layers, stories, and beliefs, and emerged with greater insight of all the un-doings and I am seeking to get back to the divine love within me. I am incredibly moved by the sacred space Heather held for our community, helping us dissolve the barriers and illusions we hold and deepening the container of love for self, our partner, friends and loved ones, and the collective. Her stories and how she related such heavy and deep emotions captivated my mind and opened my heart to what is possible for the wild, willingness, and the wise nature of embodying the divine feminine.“
Struggling to articulate my recent experience, especially when others inquire about it, is quite challenging. Describing the shifts in consciousness and the intense impact on my awareness, growth is still part of the path of integration and continual transformation. Some of my mentors refer to it as a growth period which typically follows a spiritual shift. This is where the mind and body require space to synchronize.
The Inevitable Breakdown
Upon returning to my home and life in Reno, I found myself confronted by significant challenges in my personal life; I refer to it as the inevitable breakdown. Without the insights gained from this retreat, I might have spiraled into a state of overwhelm leaving me paralyzed and fueled with fear, which is my old way of coping with stress. You know the feeling where you are completely stuck, unable to move – operating in freeze mode. Wandering aimlessly and picking up random things and activities that go unfinished with no desire to do anything. What strikes me is how my previous actions leaned towards blame, emotional distress, and victimhood. Although these reactions provide momentary relief, they ultimately drain my energy, leaving me feeling defeated.
Recognizing that I am not a passive victim of circumstances has been empowering.
Also known as the breakthrough and where transformation happens. The negative narrative that once dominated my mind hindering my problem-solving abilities and eroding my trust in self and the unfolding of life. It’s a simple realization that breakdowns can pave the way for breakthroughs.
This is the lens I choose to view this obstacle with. I am looking at this big boulder in front of me and there’s a doorway right in the middle of it. It is inviting me to walk through it, rather than avoid, blame, and sit in the discomfort of the unknown. I also choose to rise above the obstacle. While I am opening to it, this is analogous to never letting the obstacle be bigger than you.
This breakdown represents the build up of issues that I had been avoiding because I didn’t have the bandwidth to figure it out. It was easier to remain in auto pilot than face decisions and apply more discipline in my life. The buildup created an overwhelming set of circumstances which I am very aware of. Now, I am choosing to see this as another opportunity for profound transformation in my marriage and financial health. This catalyst forces me to be vulnerable and hold space for what is and accept the truth. Damn. Talk about walking the talk and applying the work that I hold my clients accountable with.
Breakdowns help us confront aspects of ourselves and habits that may have been suppressed.
This is a beautiful opportunity to get curious about the narrative we have been repeating that no longer serves our highest good. Resilience is a magical result in all this hard work. We uncover parts of us that we didn’t think we could muster but here we are.
Growth is painful. So is staying static.
Being disciplined is hard. So is feeling stuck and numb.
Having strong boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, so is sacrificing your truth and staying small.
Both are hard. You get to choose! Breakdowns are going to happen and with everyone, you get to decide how you will rise up.
As we embrace the unfolding of life and accept that they are happening for us and not to us, we create space for breakthroughs. New relationships may arise. New empowering habits may surface. New stories will be shared about the time where you almost lost it all and rose up from the ashes, stepping into your true authenticity, power, and limitless potential.
Let this unfold, surrender, and trust that you are being divinely guided. This will set you free and allow you to move forward. I know it has helped me get back into my flow, creativity, and ability to solve anything.
For more information on the book I referenced, click here.
The retreat was held at the Sedona Mago Center here.
I am not affiliated with the above, my intent is to share my experience.