September 10

Why I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions


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We are halfway through January already! 

Checking in to see how your 2020 is going so far? Did you make any New Year’s resolutions this year?

If yes, how are you doing with your resolution? If you are on track, a big congratulations to YOU!
Whatever you are doing, keep going and keep believing in yourself (that’s key).

If you didn’t make any resolutions, good for you too! I’m here to remind you that it’s OKAY.

With every new year, we tend to have good intentions. There’s something about the calendar changing that triggers a new beginning in the brain and sparks a little or a lot of motivation for change. How many times have you said or heard, “Once the holidays are over, I am going to lose those twenty pounds, or take control of my finances, or start focusing on me, or fill in the blank?”

The New Year is a time to hit the reset button and evaluate what we want to accomplish and do.

So why am I nixing making resolutions?

The definition of a resolution is the act or process of resolving.

That sounds like a complete buzzkill and in my mind, deters me from moving forward. Instead of looking at fixing or resolving something about yourself or your life, how about focusing on this question. “What do I want, and why do I want it?” If you want to make a change or improvement, the desire to change has to be higher than the desire to stay where you are at.

This desire runs deeper than what you are currently thinking and may be able to believe in this moment.

We also fall short on our resolutions and give up before 1/12 of the year is completed. 98% of the population that declares a resolution ends up quitting because of several factors.

The first is that we set lofty expectations that seem achievable at that moment. I am going to lose twenty pounds, go to the gym five times a week, eliminate all carbs, sugar, dairy, and red meat, practice the guitar every day, read to my kids every single night. The first day, we sprint out of the gate slaying our goal and feel good about it.  As time passes, we lose momentum and realize all of the restriction is suffocating our life and what we really want to have.

Or how about taking control of your finances and saving every penny? This thought typically happens after opening your credit card bill during the pinnacle of the holiday season. What I refer to as the shopping hangover.

Another factor is that we didn’t set ourselves up for success.  Do we have a system in place that supports our goal?  Do we have support or a partner to check in with and hold you accountable for your commitments?  How about time in your day to actually work on what you want?

If you made a resolution this year, is it in response to behaviors that are not in alignment with what you truly want? Do you want to lose 20 pounds because you think you will be ‘happier’, or would you be happy with tweaking your nutrition and a few pesky habits, so you feel good about yourself, your energy, and your body?

Instead of resolving something that you don’t like, try focusing on what you want and look at the why beneath what you want.

You can try this for a moment – how about accentuating the positives in your life instead of dwelling on what you don’t have? What are you grateful for? Can you enhance something that you are drawn too?  Are the actions or routines you are doing serving you and sparking joy, peace, creativity – or whatever you are seeking?

In my professional and personal practice, setting goals and intentions are paramount, and I am a big proponent of goal setting. However, if it feels overwhelming to set a goal right now, try asking yourself, what is it I want at this moment? What do I want a week from now, a month, three months? Remember the objective is to start small.  A pillar in my coaching practice and my Health & Life Coach Certification is, Small Hinges Swing Big Doors.

Take some time to quiet your mind and listen carefully. You may surprise yourself with what comes up for you. From this place, you can start thinking about a plan, thinking deliberately, and taking action.  No matter how big or small the step is. because you are exactly where you need to be.

What is it that you want? Please write it down and start thinking about what it’s like to have it right now!

Here’s to Living on Purpose in 2020,


Your Guide to a Spiritual Transformation

As an Intuitive Life Coach, Reiki Practitioner, and Energy Healer, Alexis empowers individuals to trust themselves, connect with their intuition, and lead a life filled with confidence and purpose. Explore our 3 or 6-month Intuitive coaching programs, Reiki healing, Sound Baths, Live on Purpose Transformational Coaching sessions, and embark on a transformative journey to unlock your full potential with Alexis Nelson.

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