Many clients see me for energy healing and life coaching because they are feeling lost, stuck, and disconnected from themselves and their life. Longing for (the feeling of) past versions of who they were. They look at their past as if they can never feel that way again or achieve the level of success, greatness, freedom, and the joy they thought they once had.
I can’t tell you how many times I hear, I just want to feel good again & I want to find Joy.
Or I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I wish I appreciated the 35-year-old version of me.
I want to feel alive again,
I don’t even know what makes me happy anymore. Then we wallow in our sorrows ruminating on what was and IF ONLY things were different.
Every day, we have the choice to question these thoughts. While it seems counter intuitive, we have the power within us to change the narrative. The narrative is the story that we tell ourselves about who we are, and we use this as dogma without ever questioning it. I recently posted on my blog about 5 Ways to Start Rewriting Your Story. Please go ahead and check it out!
We create our future with our current thinking and have the power to find joy.
So, what you are thinking now is what you will have in the future. If you are thinking, I will never pay off my debt, or find my soulmate/partner, or get out of this miserable job, or be able to travel, you won’t create the magic and opportunity because you are focusing so hard on what you are lacking.
While it may not feel like a conscious decision, we repeat old beliefs, habits, and continue to live in the past. What I mean by living in the past is focusing on what you did, what you accomplished, how you looked, the amazing relationship you once had, the longing for past friendships, the freedom you had before having children, or the amount of money you once had. What purpose does this serve?
Simply put, it perpetuates the cycle of feeling stuck. In the beginning, it feels much easier to stay put and safe where you are currently at, than make the drastic change and overhaul your life (which is really overhauling your outdated thinking). It’s the thought about making the change that feels more daunting than the act itself.
We come up with all the reasons why it feels better to be in this place (even though it feels terrible) than to venture out into the unknown! The terrifying and scary world that we aren’t familiar with and don’t know the intricacies of what will happen next. That future version of you is chomping at the bit to do amazing things. Explore. Create. Truly feel what it means to be a human on this planet. But it feels like too much; to heavy and exhausting to even fathom, so you give up before you even get starts because in the back of your mind you need to make sure you know HOW you are going to do it. Instead of focusing your effort on taking one step at a time, you want the manuscript and someone to tell you what you need to do and do it in one giant leap.
Only you know what to do. If you commit to making one decision at a time and take baby steps towards what you want, you will get there without the hurry and all of the miserable feelings along the way.
No one knows what is right for you. You sometimes have to get out of your own way and just do it.
You will know the how once you have arrived!
Then you get to do it all over again.
I have to admit, I have fallen victim to my past lately. My husband started his own business about a year and a half ago and we had to drastically shift our priorities, budget, and the way we live. Let me share with you, it has been anything but easy. The financial stress alone and gasp – we don’t have health insurance is enough to keep me awake for hours during the night.
What is interesting is when I really think about it, our life wasn’t any better back when he had a corporate job, and I was working at the nonprofit. We went on vacations, bought whatever we wanted, had new cars and toys, but I wasn’t any happier. I was a strung-out ball of stress living someone else’s dream suffocating in my need to prove myself and please all the people. I was ignoring the opinion of the most important person whom I needed attention from… myself. I was too busy chasing instead of being. So, when I start thinking about the past, I remind myself to come back. A powerful mantra I use is come back to me, in the present where I have my power.
The grass is always greener where you water and nurture it. If you are giving your energy and attention to low grade drips of instant gratification, you will continue to move onto the next big thing without giving much thought or appreciation for what is. Most people refer to this as going through the motions, until one day you wake up and realize you don’t even know what fuels your fire and lights you up.
The cycle of setting goals, achieving them, and moving on to the next without stopping to acknowledge will eventually create burnout and exhaustion. If you aren’t evaluating, learning, and celebrating your progress, you will continue to perpetuate more achievement without true fulfillment. Being present with where you are at and making peace with what is a beautiful start. A question to think about – do you ever spend time thinking about what makes you happy or what brings you joy and fulfillment? What makes you tick?
It is important to understand what YOU want and what truly fulfills you & brings you joy.
And asking yourself this question often. Don’t wait until you are sitting at your kid’s graduation wondering where time went or waiting until you are 80 years old to take the trip you imagined when you were 25. I see this happen all too often and I encourage every client and reader to question what brings you joy. Don’t censor it. Don’t rely on the past for the answers (only if you are completely at a loss). Look ahead. The future is bright, and dark. It’s about the lens you choose to see your future self in.
Answering the question in the now and reflecting on where you were ten – five – even last year may offer you the insight you are seeking. Having clarity on what your happy is and seeking your idea of paradise can help you find your way back to yourself.
Stop looking at the past to create your future.
Assuming everything that used to be important to you is still relevant in the present may no longer be relevant. If you are ready to find your paradise and are looking for support, let Latitude Wellness be your guiding light. You deserve to have extraordinary results and evolve into the next version of you and what brings you joy.
Book your FREE Discovery Session and explore ideas on what you can create with your beautiful mind!