You are the story you tell yourself.
While you may not be your thoughts, when you string them together to form your life story, that is how you are showing up in the world! What you do and how you take action is what you will create in your life. If you aren’t a fan of your story – maybe, it’s time to change the narrative. The good news is that you can retrain these beliefs that make up your narrative by training your mind to start thinking with intention, purpose, and choice.
The beautiful thing is that we can use our mind to think on purpose. Our mind does not control who we are – only if we let it. If your feeding your mind with garbage thinking, self-sabotage, doubt, loathing, then its time to rewrite your story. Every day we have this incredible ability to start over. All it takes is a little awareness, a lot of practice, and the desire to want to change your narrative.
Whatever we are creating in our mind will be reflected in our outer world. Your inner intelligence is much greater and smarter than you give credence and credit too – so why not tap into your innate wisdom and harness this power to your benefit? Your biggest point of power is this moment. The present and you get to decide how you want to think!
What happened in the past is just that, why do we want to hang on to it so tightly? As though we think we can change it by coming up with a better solution, a more thoughtful response, or if only I did x,y,z? this is living in the past which creates anxiety, worry, depression, and suffering.
You are in control of what happens in your mind. You get to write your story. Stop giving that power away to others!
Before we dive into how to change the narrative, the first and important question to consider is, Who do you want to be in your story? Are you currently the victim and at the mercy of your circumstances or are you the hero or heroine taking responsibility and action from this empowering place?
Here are a few ways you can start rewriting your story:
Awareness of your story
To begin the process of rewriting your story, one has to realize that change is required in order to heal and begin creating the next version of you. As soon as this begins, you are on your way whether you embrace it or resist it! Remembering that whatever resistance is surfacing for you is what you need to let go of and the lesson to be learned. Resistance is a fantastic teacher and indicator when it comes to understanding what is happening in our mind and body.
Observe your words
Specifically, the language you are using on a regular basis. If you are using the words should, can’t, don’t, must or have to, and need, to name a few, notice how those thoughts make you feel. Is there urgency? Doubt, exhaustion, procrastination, or maybe that sinking feeling that comes up for you. The word should implies wrongful, doing something out of guilt, or HAVING to do it and not liking your reasons for it. Can’t completely cuts us off from possibility and opportunity (unless it is definitive and you like your reason why you can’t) and pardons us from backing out of what we want to do or create for ourselves. One of my very first blog posts was about Shoulding on yourself, you can read it here.
Let it Go
From your place of observation, what are the thoughts and feelings you are ready to let go of? One of the many stories I told myself was that I was always late. I accepted that as my truth and it caused me pain and daily frustration. Something always came in my way of being on time. I was late because of traffic. There were too many things to do and I wanted to maximize every ounce of my time. If only my kids would have move quicker! It was their fault because I couldn’t get out the door on time. The dog ran away. Oh! The excuses I made! Not only was I in rush and in hurry mode, I arrived in a whirlwind of fire impacting those around me with my hustled and intense energy. It wasn’t good for anyone especially my mental state. I do NOT like being rushed and I was the cause of my problems. But I blamed everyone else and gave away my power. Until I decided this is not how I want to be, nor how I wanted to show up and create from this place. I decided to rewrite that chapter and give up that part of me who identified as always late to become the person that has plenty of time and who isn’t rushing. I let that go!
As mentioned in number 2 (observing) for I AM, I WILL, I WANT, and I CAN empowers us to speak kindly to ourselves (and others) and take back our power. From this place, we take action from our responsibility and our control. All too often, we give away our power by blaming others and holding ourselves as a victim to our circumstances. I am not suggesting or offering that we condone others wrongdoing or behaviors (especially the harmful ones), rather suggesting how you can start thinking from a place of empowerment, responsibility and what you can control. Circling back to the original thought that we can choose how we want to think about our circumstances has a profound impact on how we show up for ourselves. Small changes and reframes in our current story have the power to shift our energy creating results that we want.
This part is overlooked and underestimated. Just like my quest in changing the story about always being late, I had to consistently remind myself that I have all the time I need. I give myself extra time to get to where I need to be. I plan it out. Most importantly, I arrive on time (or even early!! – one step at a time). I am punctual. I arrive with ease. I have plenty of time. I respect my time and my client’s time. These are all thoughts I still practice regularly. Sometimes the reframe may not be believable. This is where you create a slight change in the reframe. Going from I’m always late to being I am an early bird isn’t believable to me. it’s more like I will arrive on time. Just like any change, visualizing yourself and practicing the thoughts that will create your new story will take time and repetition. However, the story you have been telling yourself to this point has been repeated for many many years!
Changing the narrative is simple.
It’s not easy – but remember you can create whatever you want in your mind. Even when all the evidence around you are contrary to your belief. The story you tell yourself can be revised, modified, deleted, or remain the same – the choice is yours!